Thoughts On Having A Third Child

When it came to having a family, Marvin and I never really discussed a set number. It was 2 or 3, we’d see how things go. Once we had Austin, I knew so badly that I wanted a girl too. If we had two boys, then maybe we would try for another girl. If we had 3 boys… well then, we certainly probably would not have tried again, ha! But here we are with a boy and a girl… now what next?

The thought of having a third child has been weighing heavily on my mind lately (I’ll let you know Marvin’s thoughts later), especially because if we are going to have another, this would be a good time to do it. Vivian is just leaving the diaper stage so we’d be able to stay in the diaper stage and just go through it one more time.

Let me back up a little, I’m one of those mamas who most other pregnant woman hate because I LOVED my pregnancies. We were also fortunate enough to get pregnant within the first few months of trying as well. So so fortunate. I was fortunate enough to not get sick with either, never threw up. I loved tracking my belly’s growth and although I probably shouldn’t have done it, I used “eating for two” as an excuse to eat the things I wanted. People were so friendly and nice to me, as they generally are with pregnant women! The worst part of pregnancy for me was the last trimester, not being able to fit into my normal clothes and shoes, the constant pain in my hips, always having to pee and never being able to get a good night’s sleep.

Both of my labors were induced with epidural so were generally pretty expected and pleasant as well. Breastfeeding was HARD with Austin, but got easier with Vivian.

I miss the newborn stage. I miss the sweet smell of a baby’s head. I miss seeing them so drunk on milk that they would smile. I miss the 9 month old age (my favorite). I miss the time when all that was important in life was how their poo looked. I miss cuddling and more cuddling. I miss how tiny their feet are. I miss capturing their monthly milestones and growth by taking way too many pictures.

My outfit details:

Kids Customized Denim Jackets c/o Scout & Indiana

But, right now we also have it good, REALLY GOOD. We have our boyand a girl, just like we wanted. We AREN’T outnumbered. We have a really good handle on how to do our daily routines. Austin’s anxiety has calmed because of Vivian. He helps her, she helps him. They play well together (and fight occasionally). Traveling with the two of them has gotten way easier and they love it. Our minivan is the perfect setup of car seats and the back being used as my dressing room for photo shoots. I hear that going from 2 to 3 kids is one of the hardest transitions.

With our jobs and this blog, we are busy, and already feeling like we don’t spend enough time with our kids. I like to go out with my friends or to events and want to have more date nights with Marvin, and get mom guilt over being a little selfish at times. Our finances and budgeting are not the best, but how would they be with a third? We can barely keep our house clean… how will we keep sane with another?

I will say this though, living in Utah with 2 kids can be hard. Most of the families and my friends out there have 3-6 kids, extended families that are close, and the holidays are HARD, REALLY HARD for us. We don’t have any other family that lives near us and seeing all the big family gatherings (either around or on social media) sometimes makes me wish that we had that or that my kids would have that. To me, more than having a big house or all the clothes in the world, I sometimes envy the lifestyle of those with bigger families. The support, the love, and how fun it looks to have such a big family makes me want to have more kids for their sake.

But alas, Marvin will pretty much say he is done having kids. I’m still on the fence but as time goes on, the window definitely seems to be closing on that chapter in our lives.

How many kids do you have (or do you want)? How did you know when you were done having kids?

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*I was compensated by Evereve with a gift card, all thoughts and opinions expressed are 100% my own.